Then March 11th came...Blake had a hour and a half seizure that just wouldn't stop. I was picking Daniel up from school and we were rushed to the hospital via ambulance, begged God for it to stop and it just wouldn't stop. It was terrifying. Finally it stopped, but from that point Blake slowly lost all of his abilities. There is nothing worse than watching your child go backwards. We tried everything. Here is Blake and I in a Hyperbaric Oxygen chamber trying to heal his brain.
Sadly, this is Blake 2-1/2 months later at his 2nd birthday. I had so many plans for a fun party for Blake, but he couldn't even hold his head up. Devastating.
That is why I HATE March 11th. It was one of the worst days of my life. Oh how I long to see his beautiful smile again. Thank goodness I have so many beautiful photos of Blake smiling.
2 comments:
My heart goes out to you today.
((hugs))
Now I hate March 11 too ;o)
I am so sorry. This post broke my heart.
I innocently opened my bottom nightstand drawer to get a birthday card out for a neighbor today, and once again, caught a glimpse of Kama's ashes. The waterworks began and have not stopped. This entire past week has been all waterworks.
I sat down with my eyes still full of tears, and read your post. I CAN'T even imagine the pain you must be feeling. I am so sorry for all you have lost. I am sorry that all you are left with are memories, rather than your beautiful boy. I am sorry all you are left with is, what should have been, what could have been, what would have been.....but isn't.
I have a hard time believing that one day my memories will be, reflecting in joy. I don't believe that. I know that I will forever be pained by the thoughts.
I don't even know you personally, but truly wish I could do anything to take some of your pain.
Your comments really resonated with me, I felt a connection to your words, I remember trying a million times to post a comment on your blog. For so long, it hurt me for you to not know how much I cared. And then, finally, I was able to contact you ;o)
I am holding you so tightly today. I think you are wonderful, and admire you so.
Love,
Jen
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